Tears to start my day
Thursday, Jan. 13, 2005 - 7:27 a.m.
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Dear Confident,
I woke up early this morning crying! First thing I woke up this morning, I asked my mum for the third or fourth time for her approval to go Hainan this Febuary. She said "NO!” I asked for a reason but my younger sister interrupted and discouraged me to go as well.
I was very angry with my sista! In fact now is still pissed off with her. When I shouted that she’s hindering God's work, she said that I don't even know how to take care of myself! Hello? Don't know how to take care of myself..? How does she explain my previous 2 trips to China to teach the children?
So what did I do? I go to my room to cry and kept asking God why.. I received a word from Uncle Roland and Auntie Serena that I should go, thus my expectations were very high just now.. Then I started to sing some worship songs.. "Devoted to You" , "You are my friend" and "O yes I really do".. And I got betta!
I guess that it is not the time. In the bible, it says that God has a time for everything! Thank God for His revelation! Please help me to forgive my sista. (I did forgave by afternoon.)
Just recieved 3 sms when I broke the news to Siew Cheng, Carol and my cell group! Very Encouraging!
From brother Yongwei, at 11:14am... "Hey sister.. We're proud of your heart for mission and u too know that God will honour that heart.. Indeed, There's a time for everything, maybe God wants to build u up first before ministering to others. "e lot is cast into e lap, but its every decision is from e Lord"prov 16:33"
From sista Carol, at 11:16am... "No worries. Yes.. His timing, not ours. You are already part of the team, God's team.. And you have an very important role - keep praying for us k? I'm sure our Pa is very pleased with you, for your willingness and strong desire to serve Him. Onward Christian soldier! :)
From sista Siew Cheng, at 11:57am... "It's ok sis.There'll b opportunities2go.Don't hv2apologise.For those of us who hv confirm,we've book air tickets liao.Pls keep d team in prayer.Thks.Take care.
Actually, I cried again for some disappointment faced for being discouraged to be involved in this round's BEACON class. But I don't wish to talk about it here.
=Shu Ling=
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