<BGSOUND SRC="http://jcsm.org/50PC/OnceAgain.mp3" >



+ Newest + Older + Rings + Profile + Supporters + Prayer Journal + Photos + Friendster Profile + Multipy Homepage + Wishlist
+ Message + View Guestbook + Sign Guestbook + Design + Lighted Path + Host


Still Single?
Tuesday, Jun. 10, 2003 - 5:53 a.m.

Next + Previous

Dear Confidant,

I've not been updating as I was occupied with my life. Sorry for those who missed me! Haha, I wander if there is anyone do miss me...

The purpose of this entry is to share 2 emails from a church friend. His name is Marcus. I believe whatever he wrote is his feelings after he read a book. I don't how much he quoted from the book but if anyone knows that I had break the copyright laws, I beg that you let me know.

I believe this 2 emails will bless many who are seeking for their Mr Right or Ms Right. Enjoy and be blessed!

-Shu Ling-

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Email 1

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hi...something to share...this is written from a guy's point of view but girls, feel free to pass it on if you feel that it has blessed you.

 
The Big 'M'
Some of us question, "God, if You're so good, how come I'm still single??" I found some answers to that question for those who are seeking or perhaps even waiting for the "one".
  1. We want it too bad.
    It is not wrong to feel a want or to even want something but when these feelings of want seem to be more important than anything else, we have allowed it to become just another idol in our lives. Yes, even Marriage can be an idol if we allow it to take God's rightful place. In such situations, God will address the issue of the heart and ask us to draw closer to Him, to simply trust that He knows best. It isn't easy...Trusting is listening and putting into action what we've heard from God.
  2. Unfinished Tasks
    God has assigned each of us tasks. He uses us at each stage of our lives for His purposes. In the world's point of view, we say, "Everyone has their own set of problems." I choose to say, "Everyone has their own set of tasks to accomplish." Similarly, a child will have his or her own tasks...a teenager, single young adults, couples, married couples, parents and even grandparents; all have their set of tasks to the Lord.
    In 1 Cor 7:32 it says this, "An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord."
    Read on till vs 35, "I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." This verse pretty much sums up the previous point. What this verse also means is that while we are still single, concentrate on what our tasks are for the Lord before we get married and have our interest divided.
  3. We are not ready or the other person is not ready
    We all like the fairy tale of meeting that person of our dreams, I must confess, I did too at one point in time. As time went by I began to realize that the dream person in my mind might not be willing to be with me even if we do eventually meet up. That got me thinking. Just as we prepare ourselves for the coming of Christ, we too must prepare ourselves to meet that person that God has planned for us. Otherwise either party will not recognize the other even if he or she were standing in front of us.

    For the guys, it means asking ourselves if we are ready to lead her in love. It means asking ourselves, what are we doing about our own lives to get ready for marriage. Dating and all that is fun, but in the end, it is not the chocolates, the movies or the fancy restaurant...there must be a purpose for romancing the girl...otherwise, it is simply a waste of time and money. It also means asking ourselves, are we ready to lead her? Christ put man in charge of the household, which means that if anything goes wrong within the household, the man is held responsible and answerable to God. This means that we as guys need to ask ourselves, "What kind of family life do I want? What kind of family do I want to build?" By answering this question can we then set our own criteria for finding the kind of wife that we want. More often than not, we guys find the girl we are attracted to then try and fit the girl to that picture we have...sometimes, there isn't even a picture!! (And that is worse!!)

    For the girls, it means asking, "Is he the guy that I can follow?? Am I ready to serve him in the way the bible expects?" Tough questions?? It is tough...and it is serious because at the end of the day, both man and woman will stand before God and before men and say "I love you no matter what." It is more than a commitment, it is a lifelong ministry.

    The common question for both is this, "Can I grow in love with this person?" Most of us love the person we're with now and it is very easy to do so...but we have to really learn to grow in love with the person...the other thing is look beyond the person, discover his or her character. How does he or she serve in a ministry? How does this person respond to people in authority? How does this person react in a bad situation? What about his or her friends?? When we are talking about marriage, it is not just the person that we are marrying but the person's family and friends as well. It comes in a package. Are we ready to accept all these??
  4. It is not God's time
    God has a time for us for everything. It is amazing how He orchestrates situations to make things work out in the end. Let's put it this way, if God can make each and every sunrise and sunset different, we can be sure that He will plan our lives which is by far more important than any sunrise or sunset. Trust in His time.

    Isaiah 30:18 "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who WAIT for Him!"
  5. It is not as important as we think
    What we deem important really pales in comparison to what God deems as important. We must learn to recognize that perhaps this is not the priority in God's plan for us to get married which is why He hasn't brought that special person into our lives yet.
I had a vision for myself and I hope this serves as an encouragement to those who are still seeking. I dreamt that I was in a church...I was holding the Lord's hand with my right hand and He was holding mine on His left. I could only focus on Him and frankly, I didn't really think about much else. The Lord was smiling and I could see that He was very excited. He finally spoke and said, "Child, there is someone I'd like you to meet..." Holding his right hand was this girl whom I knew immediately was mine to hold and to love. I could not see who this girl is but I know that when that really happens, it is God who will rejoice with me. Trusting without seeing requires faith and I am thankful each day that He has shown me just enough for me to walk and to trust.
 
God bless,
Marcus

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Email 2

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hi, just thought I share this story with you all....I hope this will form as an encouragement for all those who are still seeking and searching. At the same time, it seemed that the Young Adults' retreat theme was very much the same as this story. Feel free to share this story with those whom you think might benefit from it...

 
When silence doesn't mean consent...
Mary and Keith knew each other for years now...Keith knew that Mary is a nice girl and all but he needed to be sure if God's plan for him in his life included Mary. He decided to pray and seek God about asking her the all important question if she would be his girlfriend. "O Lord, hear me now as I present to you my request...you mentioned in Psalm 91 that You will answer those who call on you...I ask You now if Your plan for me does include Mary, this girl that I am now interested in..."
 
One, two months passed by and still nothing heard. Keith decided to go ahead with asking Mary the all important question. He planned to ask her at a Christmas party his friends organised...It was the perfect setting, a cool night, cool breeze by the beach...there was even a moon...shyly he held her hand and asked if she would consider having such a man as himself in her life. She accepted.
 
2 years into the relationship, everything went well...there were lots of happy times, laughter and sweet moments....but this was not God's plan for both people involved. God began to show Keith that there were many things in a relationship that he needed to consider, like whether this person in his life could and would walk alongside him to build a godly family...whether or not she would support the ministry that he is now in. As God spoke to Keith, his heart ached because he could see that she was not part of the plan God had for him. Painfully, he asked God if the relationship would last. He saw a big "NO"....he asked again, "God, is she the woman whom I'm going to spend the rest of my life with?" Again he saw a big "NO" . Keith then prayed, "God, if this is not your will for me, then I ask that You end it. There is never a good time to end a relationship, nor is there anything that I can say that will make it any easier and I don't want to be the jerk so I ask this now in Jesus' name that You will make this simple for me...end it simply. Amen."
 
While driving to meet Mary, Keith's heart was beating rapidly. "What should I tell her?? How can I break this gently to her??" The handphone rang...
 
"Hi, this is Mary..."
Keith's heart almost dropped....
"Keith, I got something to ask you....you want a break-up??"
Keith couldn't believe his ears...he had not spoken to her about this and yet....he choked on his reply..."Must I answer you now?? Now is not a good time..."
"It's a very SIMPLE answer....just answer "Yes" or "No"....it's that simple...."
Keith thought, "Oh God, I have asked you to make it simple for me...and today, she has even mentioned the key word....what am I to do?? What am I to say??"
With a heavy heart, Keith answered, "Yes."
 
When Keith went back and prayed, he asked God, "Why oh Lord?? Why?? Why did you give me the go-ahead if You knew that it was going to end??" God replied him in Isaiah 30:18 "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who WAIT for Him!"
 
Keith learnt the hard way that silence does not always mean consent...sometimes, it means to wait upon the Lord...yet as we wait, it should be a wait with joy...because "Blessed are all who wait for Him."
 
There are a few lessons to learn from this story....
 
1) What we deem important (finding a partner, etc) may pale in comparison to what God deems as important....Does our Heavenly Father know our needs and wants?? If we believe so, will He not provide someone at the right time?? When we need that companion to help us in our ministry??
2) Silence more often than not means WAIT!!
3)2 Halves does not make 1 whole....we should take joy in serving God...in being COMPLETE in Him before we can be truely happy in our relationship...and lastly,
4) When God provides, ACT!! (especially if we were the ones who asked Him to intervene.)
 
Take care and God Bless,
Marcus

5 most current entries
Church Signs.. Lots of Love - Tuesday, Jan. 16, 2007
Goals for 2007 - Thursday, Jan. 11, 2007
Invitation for Christmas - Thursday, Dec. 14, 2006
A wonderful experience @ Women's Encounter Weekend - Tuesday, Nov. 14, 2006
My leaving and coming back - Wednesday, Aug. 23, 2006